3 years ago today -- 3 weeks before meeting my darling Annie Girl -- I was headed, once again, back to L&D. ⚡️ Just looking at this, the stress was so consuming, I can actually FEEL it now. ⚡️ I did not enjoy being pregnant, and I do not believe I was very good at it. Heaps of gratitude and anticipatory joy bouyed me through the fear, miserable meds, prelabor paranoia, etc. I was entirely, deeply in love with my children before we met eyes; meanwhile, I found carrying them physically in my body entirely, deeply unnatural. [And yes, this word choice is intentional and true. It's just how it felt for me. Still, to this day, I'm shocked, genuinely, that I did that, grew like that, and not in any kind of pat-oneself-on-the-back kind of way, more like "Who possibly thought THAT was a reasonable idea!?" kind of way.] Anyway. For these reasons, I don't revisit my pregnancies. And really, why would I when the priceless gifts they provided are fully animated and autonomous now, just in front of my nose or clinging to my legs where they belong, requesting ice cubes, glue sticks, and 'squeezy Mama hugs?' [🤗] But, lately, unintentionally, some visceral pregnancy memories are flickering back, and I think I know why. Then and now are such different times, but hard times all the same. I used to have to repeat to Bewildered Pregnant Abbey, "You only need enough strength for today. Tomorrow's strength will arrive tomorrow." And it always did. And it always does. And it always will. I don't know if anyone at all may benefit from reading this, but just in case, there it is, here it is.... Tilt your head up to what I like to imagine are the heavens for a "Serenity now...! / For the love...! / WTF...! Whyyyy...?" exhale, then just keep hanging on. And if hanging on feels harder than you think it should, please message me. I'm here. I mean it. ❤️ [Squeezy virtual hugs.]
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#pregnancydiary #writingmotherhood #mamadiaries #womenwriters #pregnancysupport #womenwhowrite #writinglife #abbeyclelandlopez #preggolife #writeon #writersofig #pregnantproblems #writerwoman #keepcalmcarryon #mamapower ...

Cameron thought this "fancy garnish" (and this photo capturing this "fancy garnish") was hilaaaaarious. 🦖🍸 Twas such the stressful/scary/strenuous week. But apparently I've arrived, somehow, in my Friday night fantasy scenario. (In bed, books and Belvedere within reach.) And despite this delightful anomaly, sometimes you STILL find a vicious beast in your vodka. At some point, these last few years, I've learned to sip around them.
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(And seriously, when possible, buy books from @prologuebookshop . They're indie and knowledgeable and lovely. No incentive to say that, except that it's the truth.) #notaninfluencer #justlovebooks #saveindiebookstores #abbeyclelandlopez #prologuebookshop #614columbus #cbusgram ...

By the time I finished it, sunlight flooded my office, distorting this photo so serendipitously my mane's roots actually appear the color God Herself intended, and my beloved @_rachblack of @citrinehairandskin achieves. 👑 Anyway. Ask any screenwriter. Few highs top that dopey, delicious "FADE TO BLACK" high. I won't know this baby's strengths and weaknesses for weeks, but we won't focus on that today.

Today, Mama will be tired, but happy.

#abbeyclelandlopez #montague ...

I live in a house. I am someone's wife. And occasionally, when Anthony works overnight, and the children are finally asleep, and the words begin to swim on the page, alerting me I may begin doing more harm than good, I sneak up to the guestroom and turn on Fiona or Tori or Tracy or Joni or Amy or Carly and end up looking something like this. I've never identified as a "housewife," but I'm thinking it's reasonable that these components [ house + wife + occasional throwback beauty habit ] fit me squarely in this demo, this demo that OUR White House's worst-ever tenant assumes supports his racist policy. But here's the thing, the "housewives" I know, you know, married women in houses who may also occasionally wear curlers -- this must be the definition, right? I'll ask Betty Friedan and Matthew Weiner later -- we are ambitious, critical-thinking, open-minded, big-hearted types with soft bellies and sharp talons. We read. We analyze. We feel. We DO. We contribute more value to the people in our care the first hour of any given morning than he has all term, and likely all his life. We don't like messes because we are the ones who do the picking up. What a monstrous deplorable mess this insecure toddler has made. I've always loved witches, in part because of their dope wheels (🧹), but now I'm thinking it's a powerful symbol witches and housewives share. I, generally and specifically, LOVE people and LOATHE politics. Because of this very dilemma, November can't come soon enough. Brooms up, ladies. 🧹🏛🧹
#broomsup #womenwritersofinstagram #whenweallvote #witchesunite #voteearly #abbeyclelandlopez #peacelovevote #writinglife #614artist #votingmatters #votevotevote ...

Challenge accepted. @chefserenapoon 💓💪🏼👑💡✌🏼 I remember this moment from 2019. I silently recited (my own unique witchy version of) a prayer for a dear friend struggling with infertility, then wished my pending pap results would be normal. Soon after this shot, she became pregnant, and my results were perfectly normal. Even when it's HARD, like really really f'ing HARD, I've always revelled in being a girl/woman. I'm not even sure what exactly that means/implies, but I know, in my bones, my soul, it's a source of joy, empowerment, and creative expression for me. I pray everyone on the planet can derive this kind of happiness and rootedness in their identity. EVERYONE deserves that. #empoweringwomen #womensupportingwomen #womenempowerment #womeninspiringwomen #abbeyclelandlopez #womenwriters #womenwritersofinstagram ...

A high school boy once told me, "Your eyes are so navy, they're almost black, except when you've been crying. Then they're pretty." I've thought of this random, throw-away comment EVERY TIME I've gone out in public post-crying for twenty years. (So not thaaat often; I'm not much of a crier. I'm more apt to grab a pen or a baseball bat than a tissue, but nonetheless, EVERY TIME it applies, I hear it.) We're all walking around with these long-ago-spoken, unsolicited remarks, whether we're aware of them or not -- the compliments, insults, back-handed-something-or-others that burrow in our brain, crafting one brick in the complex building of Moi. In early story development, writers are tasked with creating characters' unique lists. What did someone say about her voice, her hair, her height, the way she ate, the way she laughed, the way she walked, the way she didn't hesitate to speak her mind... until she did? What remarks -- lovely, encouraging, innocuous, seemingly innocuous, confusing, annoying, hurtful, detrimental, dangerous, cruel, trajectory-changing -- does she still hear? Do we still hear? Do we still serve up like a pastry or a poison to the characters in our lives? As writers, we're most interested in the slippery, conflicted, strange ones. The ones that linger, in part, because they're puzzling. (Did he want me to cry?) #amwriting #writinglife #abbeyclelandlopez #writeon ...